blind faith i carry your heart i carry it in my heart

2011-06-11T10:44:00.000+08:00

2009-12-28T20:48:00.001+08:00

I've moved to WWW.EDE-QUATE.BLOGSPOT.COM

PLEASE VISIT THERE INSTEAD

XOXO
EDELYN

2009-12-25T03:39:00.002+08:00

First and foremost.......

Merry Kristmus to all your people out there! How was your xmas eve ??

Mine was simple and perfect surrounded myself with people who treats one another genuinely

love my boyfriend more for spending money on all the presents food and cleaning up

I really couldn't ask for more

I'm going to bed now... It's past my bedtime

2009-12-18T17:28:00.002+08:00

You know its not over when its still haunting you. when yesterday's argument is brought forward today, tomorrow, day after so on and so forth.

I don't get it why must things be said out this way.

Does it make you lose one slice of your meat but just accounting? Does it make you lose your limp to just tell? it may not seem significant to you but if it is for me i don't see why can't u just say? And work is always a great excuse to forget telling

Instead of being so called QUARREL AVOIDANT!, You can just say when asked for without asking to make life easier. If one is really QUARREL AVOIDANT don't they know that by saying I DON'T SEE THE NEED TO SAY or I HATE BEING DOUBT/ACCUSED. which argument will end up worse?

If u want me to trust on the 2 facts, 1 . no track record (no trackable record) 2. hates being doubted or accused. im sorry that cannot be done. even if its swore upon your own life fathers mothers and whoevers

I trust only what i see and what is not accounted for / so called dont see the need to.

Whose fault is it actually? when one wants to give the other everything they want and when that person doesn't actually care if its given or not ? Doesn't make her/him love you any more or less no??

So when you feel like u're doing your so called THE BEST and u feel like the other party isn't as so called *APPRECIATIVE* whose fault?

If the answer is none? then why is there that argument? what are we trying to prove?

What does it take for one to be just EASY GOING instead of forever harping on some bullshit called PRINCIPLE!

I would much rather pick knowing when/what to do or not to talk at the right time over having alot of telepathy with the one i love over the most nitty gritty stuff .

Instead of forever thinking of the worst case scenerio try thinking of the glass as half full.

After yesterday's explosive i would have to say i have never felt such peace with myself for awhile because now im slightly calmed down and i know clearly what i want and do not want.

I want not stupid stress given onto yourself whether or not IM HUNGRY even kids know how to find food when they are hungry and it has nothing to do with eating with the family without you around.

If you are going to constantly give yourself stress over every single thing that shoots out of my mouth at any given time without even have knowing the slightly difference between right and wrong, need or wants, possible or impossible, for the stars moon and planets.

That will only cause unnecessary arguments, and most importantly my tears

Its not suspecting , its just doing a random check if all is accounted for , one has no need to fear for arguments. even if there are questions it is to clear any miscommunication inbetween to avoid misunderstanding and ACCUSATIONS!

Im done saying and i've never been so logical in any relationship but with this i had to tuck my heart inbetween and let my brain do its work

2009-12-17T05:26:00.002+08:00

Come 2010. Blow Me Away Shall Cease To Exist

Come 1st January 2010 A bigger , better , bolder blog will Reveal

One that is going to make me some MOOLAH!

Stay Tuned

xoxo

edelyn

2009-12-09T22:45:00.003+08:00

So yes boyfriend has officially handed his bimmer over to the dealer. Yesterday

Feels so sad 11 months of fun and thrill and trips up kuala lumpur!!

I was suppose to console boyfriend but instead he consoled me in the end!!

It's okay come the new year he'll get the Porsche boxster niceeeee

was thinking of 6 series or 3 series cabriolet !!

For the rest of this year we'd shuffle between vios and kangoo??

Niceeeeeeeeee

2009-12-01T01:06:00.002+08:00

there is 2 kinds of arguments i hate out of the many that i do.

1. passing the phone to somebody else. that dont work with me whatever the other person has to say i totally didnt listen. i hate how ppl say don't believe ask ***** den shove phone . i think its basic respect not to drag others into an argument .

Poor fellow who gets involved will 20% of the time get put on my not want to have anything to do with list. well there is still 80% chances that they don't because i dont think its their fault.

2. i hate the believe it or not up to you. when people say that 90% of the time i wont believe it.

don't explain wont know. this statement doesnt include work related, life relates, moment related stuff. because it doesnt involve me i dont care. i only care about ppl explaining things i want to know and i care about.

whatever im just ranting and basically i cannot even remember what i wrote this for.

goodnight

2009-11-26T12:23:00.001+08:00

Somewhere i can run to and rant without obligations without caring about the feelings of people around me

That makes me sane.

2009-11-26T08:45:00.002+08:00

seeing some blogs, people, profile, pictures makes me want to gag.

its like my body is automatically rejecting them! It comes so naturally.

2009-11-25T03:29:00.002+08:00

Attempting to blog with my phone right now!! I remember having something to say but I totally forgotten about it!!!

Loving my iPhone but I want a bb too!!

Boyfriend thinks I have wants and not needs! I already have everything I need!!! So it's only left with wants right??

I want a wii
I want a m6
I want another camera
I want to go to disneyland again
I want to go on cruise

I was pretty sure I had more wants but I cannot remember now

crap! I hate how my posts make me seem more materealistic and childish than I actually am !! But I can't be arsed to phrase it in another way

it is fucking 3.48am and we are going to exercise at 8am!!!!

2009-11-22T02:32:00.002+08:00

Tried blogging with my iphone but the fucking keyboard refuse to appear FML!.

Went blading with baby together with MH and XX .

Thanks to MH i fell down!! scrapped my damn knee

SEE this is why edelyn dont do sports! i swear my brother's got 99% of the sport genes !

Im abandoning Viceroy Menthol lights officially for Ice Blast. Bf and i have been going around singapore finding me Ice blast, because apparently every 7 eleven was only given 2 cartons? smlj

Anyhow i don't take pictures so u'd probably find the pictures on my facebook.

I cant be damned to blog seriously find me on twitter

www.twitter.com/edelynnn

2009-11-18T15:52:00.002+08:00

Had fun at the Regal's Yesterday After Eskibar which is so darn cold. It was Ming hao and Xuexin's 7th year anniversary (omfgwtfbbq) How does anybody do that?!?!

7 YEARS! and still going so muthafucking strong and so muthafucking sweet, It felt as if it was still their honeymoon period!

Had fun singing till my throat went hoarse, Played pool which i suck so badly i keep making the boyfriend put the balls back in place so that i can hit it till i score. Its not the least bit fun playing with someone who clears the fucking table not to mention had earned medals doing so ... fml

Earlier that day after boyfriend finished his work he picked me up and we headed to Wisma so i could get my eye cream, fuck im looking haggard! what happened to those days where i didn't need any skin care products.

____________________________________________________________________

You see that is life, Someone who is not suited for you may be the best boyfriend to someone else and vice versa. There is not such thing as a horrible boyfriend/girlfriend.

xoxo

edelyn

2009-11-14T17:02:00.002+08:00

Hello earthlings.

2009 is about to end I really enjoyed 2009 thoroughly Wishing for Christmas to arrive soon but dreading the New year to come.

In 2009 I traveled an equivalent amount in a year : 20 years of my life.

Ok my brain just died for 10 minutes....

ok whatever i was trying to say i love my life now.

I need to take more pictures but again i would rather abandon this blog then to waste time taking pictures before i eat -_-"

I should just sell my SLR hmmm??

2009-11-07T12:30:00.003+08:00

I have absolutely no inspirations to blog!

I eat sleep watch tv almost everyday!!

Nothing much to blog about my dating life, because practically we live together!

Baby said 10 months felt like 4 years and i totally agree!

I am sometimes envious of couples who don't see each other everyday, going on dates where after which going to either house for a sleep over is MAD LOVING!

But still i'm not giving up my kind of relationship for those!!

On the 2nd of November was our 10th month headed down to marina barrage for some heart to heart in the wee hours.

After which we spent the day watching a movie

Got our first set couple ring

which we wear to bed every night !!

Mad love, boyfriend is still snoozing beside me!! omfg i swear i hate waking him up

2009-10-31T04:04:00.002+08:00

When i was growing up i dreamt of the perfect wedding, the perfect guy, the perfect kids, the perfect marriage

I lost that somewhere along the way.

Not too long ago, i found it all back.

Now i've never been happier, I can talk about naming my kids, where we would stay, how the wedding would be like, what kind of wife i will be

I like being with a guy who can give me a future, who wants a future with me.

I no longer want a relationship that goes day by day.

Connie coming back taught me alot. I fell in love with babies, Everyday spent with sabrina taught me alot about babies. I want to be there every step of the way seeing R'selcia grow up. I want her to call me godma!

I take back those words i've ever said about not wanting kids.

2009-10-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

Boyfriend is home! finally.

My nights are no longer quiet!!

No more nightmares!!

Anyhow i met an indian pervert at penisular plaza! bloody fucker i thought he was just being friendly but he got TOO friendly when he lean in for a kiss at the 7-eleven door! ASSHOLE i told him i had a bf.. thank god bf came down after but we couldn't find that fellow anymore! crap

Tramatized!

2009-10-28T01:12:00.003+08:00

Life is like that.

Went one big round only to find out the person meant to be with u was the one before me =)

Im happy for you. Hope i didn't waste 2 years of your life for nothing =D

be happy =)

2009-10-23T22:28:00.001+08:00

Boyfriend isn't here to apply moisturizer on my feet!
I felt clumsy doing it myself and its so uneven!

GAWD!

2009-10-22T17:12:00.003+08:00

I saw you with your new girl
Just yesterday and i feel that i must confess
Even though it kills me to hafta say
I'd admit that i was impress

Physically just short of affection
Gotta commend you on your selection

Though i know i shouldn't be concerned
In the back of my mind i can't help but question?

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

I'm gonna remember you
You gonna remember me

_____________________________________________________

I don't get why people think that NS is the biggest obstacle in a relationship.

Its not. People who've dated for 10 years and married for 4 can get divorced in 2

what more NS.

It no longer matters how many years you have been dating him/her

The only thing that matters is that you are not longer with one another

______________________________________________________

Im sick of that question : " How come you'd date mj he's so not your type"

WELL DAMN IT THOSE WHO ARE MY TYPE LEFT ME DIDN'T THEY!

I hate it when i have my period It only comes when boyfriend jets off to another part of the globe!

2009-10-15T05:36:00.002+08:00

Its not easy.

Im not sad, i guess im just all choked up? I know one day this would come but we would never know till it happens right?

Anyway ...

I cannot bring myself to continue this post..

I really can't

2009-10-12T17:50:00.003+08:00

Not so young anymore

Time of the month is approaching, Been gorging myself crazy.

Living in china for 8 days makes me
- frugal
- cute. wtf
- appreciative

CONS

People there spit anywhere and everywhere and i constantly had to dodge because obviously they didn't notice me behind!

The air is so polluted i got myself 3 pimples and a black lung. fml. even viceroy can't cause such an effect!?!?!

PROS

Get to smoke anywhere, everywhere.

Bought 2 huge ass hard covered luggages for 20 sing each.

People there seem to think i look very cute and young ! which is not the same case as in singapore. Im usually old and fat here! fml

WHY!

How come in only 21 but living/ bearing life like a 24 - 29 should?

21 year olds are still studying, clubbing, hot, doing kiddish , childish things.

im 21 and travelling with the boyfriend, learning alot about business, shopping lesser, wearing more mature clothings, looking older. worrying about paying bills, getting offices, meeting leaders= talking to aunties and uncles the age of 45 - 60.

Whatever happened to the thrill of being young? wondering if the money you have left is enough for food/movies/entryfees/branded stuff ?

What happened to counting by the 10s 50s and 100s it became 1000s 10 000s 100 000s 1 mils

1k - 2k for holiday = passable

50 dollars to catch a toy = WTF CB WHY SO EXPENSIVE CHUI!

23 dollar for a movie = NB WHY SO EXPENSIVE ONE BUY DVD LA!

100+ for health care each time = Okay la not very ex what

100 for beauty products = not bad not bad

10k for office = ok what

When i feel old inside , its impossible to stay youthful on the outside!

soooo

i dyed my hair red.

FROM THIS

TO THIS

I started acting cute since i got my hair dyed and sooo far it got me anything i want =D

2009-10-03T13:50:00.002+08:00

Hello people Im flying off in less than 10 hours! im pretty excited but the excitement has died down 5 minutes ago because i am bored.

I cannot fall asleep, There is no tivo programs that i wanna watch, no ones online.

WTF!

2009-09-30T19:12:00.003+08:00

I need to blog.. friends are complaining about the short posts . well in my defense its not short, short is what i tweet!

Life without the boyfriend is pretty carefree but don't be mistaken i miss him loads

I drive the car everywhere, Run errands, meet friends .

Boyfriend is really working very hard . So hard i find myself feeling guilty when i get angry at him.. even when he's wrong......

Crap

I don't remember posting these pics But it was of our first month anniversary which was 8 mths ago

We had slight argument that night because of a white lie he told.. because he wanted to get me my present

This is me feeling very bad after receiving it

WELL STILL NO LYING!... even if its lying to plan a surprise =(

Apparently theres an earthquake today from indonesia my brother said he felt it and he was the first to run away. chui

I don't feel anything?? i live at pasir ris and his office is at tampines!

I remember feeling earthquake twice at david's house i thought i was fainting from the crying

Okay its my cousin nicky's birthday tomorrow but his party is today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY! see u at your party later if i can wake up!

NO WONDER I AM PUTTING ON WEIGHT.. i sleep eat go out sleep eat go out....

2009-09-29T06:43:00.002+08:00

So boyfriend is already in SZ =(... I miss him and im gonna distract myself but filling my week with programmes.

As usual as soon as he leaves i have to clear the bills! boyfriend take years to pay the bills! the bank must be very happy to have him as a customer always earning from the interest

So today will belong to gal and stella! i was hoping to go shopping with them later on.

Searching for a black bag. Im fucking picky with my bags... Was thinking of longchamp or agnes B first. But we shall see again! Don't think i wanna pay for so much for a bag. Im thinking of a bag to thrash !

October! WHY! can't we skip this mth? So many birthdays

Nicholas, Shalyn, yvonne, Steven, michelle. i heard my wallet crying

2009-09-28T00:51:00.002+08:00

Hello. Boyfriend is being really nice. He went to popular to get few stacks of black paper to cover up all his window . why? because i cannot sleep with the slightest bit of sunlight and to top it off i sleep in the morning!

Twitted the pic of bf in his sexy boxers standing on the ledge ! mwahahahha its pretty scary after all his room is on the 2nd floor and the house has fucking high ceiling -_-"!

WOOHOO! major love.

Anyway we're heading out after this to get ingredients for making aglio olio! yum before heading to neverland which is a thai disco? at orchard plaza ! LOL pretty nice place. the thai girls gave me lollipops!

OK GTG BYE

2009-09-26T19:23:00.001+08:00

I feel so superficial today. How can anyone seriously be so happy to receive a toy? as excited as receiving a diamond ring...

WTF! okay going to marcus tang's 21st with lala. Gonna meet old classmates there MAD LOVING IT

2009-09-26T03:10:00.003+08:00

I slept at 6pm woke up at 12am and now im wide awake. Truth is , its this time of the night/day that makes me think. Even when arguing my mind works best at this time. fml

I need something. Im contemplating on a business, studying , get a part time job.

You see Mj pays for everything. Im pretty relax. But its a sense of satisfaction when i get my close one a present i earn with my money? Stella's and Gal's bday is nearing Im thinking of getting a job to get their presents.

A2 and i are pretty set on starting our own business in 2 years. But first we have alot of things to tackle. for instance, Our capital, Our concept solving problems before they arise and all those crap.

BLAH!

digressing

Thats me in my new hair which btw is fucking short considering my previous hair touches my asscrack
Totally straight with no layers.

Ok brain just died BYE

2009-09-24T20:43:00.001+08:00

Bf is getting here at 9.30 and we're going to JB! we go overseas so much my new passport since feb is already reaching HALF of the book soon!

I hope no one steals the BMW logo at the back of his car this time... AHHAHA

2009-09-23T00:14:00.004+08:00

whatever pathetic as it sounds. I don't feel like talking to anyone

I can no longer open my mouth and share my problems with anyone because i don't think there really is an actual problem?

Its just i feel Both is never good enough . I no longer feel like talking or solving problem neither do i want to hear anyone talk talk talk and trying so hard to make me understand. I don't want to understand, i don't wanna know, and i don't want to be someone that im trying so hard to be. at the expense of me.

I think its pretty hard to love me for me, everything about me, my temper, how my mood changes from hour to hour, how drama i can get. I was like that. I found myself for awhile and i lost it all to love. Im happy to a certain extend because im living the chill out life that i want, and that my dears come with a price. A price that cannot be named or measure a price that sucks your soul out by the minute..

When i walked away from the car. I felt a pain a sharp sharp pain. telling me i don't wanna hear another argument anymore. i don't wanna be mild anymore. i don't wanna hear where ive done wrong or what i've not done enough. I just want to be me. I just want to do things on my own time. I just wanna make decisions without worrying about anyone. I want to cry when i want, shout when i want.

Ive never felt more like dying than now. I never felt more like just sleeping and never wake up to face anyone anymore. I just want to smile and be me from the moment i wake up till the moment i slept.

Its no longer a problem we can solve. The only solution is to let each other be who we want to be and just fucking accept it. accept that she is like that and if u want to live with her be with her. u just hafta accept that.

I have to accept so many things . I live a life i've never lived before. But how come its so different from my fantasy? How comes its no bed of roses? I didn't know it came with such a price. AND i was ... very willing to accept and to go nahh he is like that one just let him be, when hes angry just go ahhh thats him one la. But how come i don't feel like i can be me. Issit my fault?

How come after all i've done i've given in all that im willing to do. I still feel like i didn't try hard enough. why do i feel like i only got a 50 when i gave in 100

I just want to be out of your shadow out of your wings i just want to be alone, be me.

I still scared of talking, still scared of getting voice raised at, or even shouted at. Im still afraid of always being wrong, always felt like ive not done enough, always felt like im not understanding enough. what more do i have to give before i completely lost me totally.

I don't want and im so scared right now... so scared of u walking thru my door . so scared of u coming near me just so scared of u...

DO u know there is nothing i wouldn't give to let someone tell u the way i was and how fucking lucky u actually really are right now..

Its no longer the much about the quantity of time more like quality

What is my actual favourite color.
What is my IC number
What is my passport number
What is the expiry date of it
What went wrong when the sound of speech changed?
What am i really like?
What is my favourite dish
What drinks do i take when im bleeding
What can i not eat

Alot more. Its not impossible whatever after impossible is just an excuse for u're not doing good enough.

Knowing, caring, understanding, loving them is no longer just about thinking of them all the time, always saying i love u, rushing home straight after work, doing work in the room.

Its knowing what makes them tick
Its caring yet not disturbed when their mood sucks
Its about knowing what to do when to do

Not everything can be said flat, Love doesnt come in a manual where u can find under sections when things go wrong, its about learning because u want to and not because u have to. I can never tell why or where u've done wrong or not done enough. i cannot...

2009-09-22T00:57:00.003+08:00

Well i am not happy.

If you are thinking who cares? Please click the X on the right hand corner and fuck off

If you're some exs' gf who come here to seek some joy out of my misery just because your relationship suck which btw is none on my business, Please too click the X on the right hand corner and go do something useful like BLOWING YOUR BF!

Sorry for digressing.

Well you see, Im the kind of person you'd wanna be hanging with if you're in a good mood wanting to have some fun.

I can come off pretty bimbotic ! You see blondes have the most fun, because when u act stupid u don't really care what others think , why? because u know that not who u really are inside.

Those people who insult you just because you act like a dumb blonde, or because u aint demure and because u hurl vulgarities can fuck off because they aren't worth it

Im not the demure kind of girl, every sentence i say would probably end with a WTF CCB or start with one, or both . And i definitely do not sugar coat my words when i think u deserve it.

I don't have to be who u want me to be if u don't like me the way i am don't hang around me..

My friends love me the way i am. They know who i really am inside, That i am actually capable of things beyond what your pea brain can register!

I talk the way i want to, I curse if i fucking want to, I can be sarcastic when i want to.

Sometimes in life you do not need certain people and their crap! =)

The next person who wants to complain about their miserable life yet dare tell me NO when im suggesting something will get it from me big time. I PROMISE

AND I WILL NOT SPARE YOUR PAST ANCESTORS OR FUTURE ONES WHEN I CURSE

2009-09-20T22:06:00.004+08:00

I have something to confess...

i...

I....

I have a secret crush.....

Im sorry bf...

But he's toooo cute

he's none other than..

WILBER PAN WEI BO

AINT HE JUST GORGEOUS?? omfg.... im drooling already..

I was crazy over him since i was like what? secondary 1? It stopped for awhile but then whenever i read about him or heard him singing

it makes me go gaga ALL OVER AGAIN!

2009-09-18T02:39:00.003+08:00

OMFG

I just took out my hair extensions A PLASTIC BAG FULL OF IT!..

After i was done plucking them out i went to wash my head and OMFG the amount of hair i saw. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING BALD. FUCK FUCK FUCK.. CHUI CHUI CHU..

I am trying to tell myself ITS OK.. HAIR WILL GROW BACK. and that its so much lighter now..

...............

WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING!

WHY WHY ON EARTH DID MY ITCHY FINGER PLUCK OFF THE FIRST EXTENSION!

Boyfriend is out entertaining his business partner and im stuck at home. poor me.

Im contemplating on changing my blog layout but im clueless..

OKAY FINE PEOPLE HAVEN U REALIZE BY NOW IM JUST BLABBERING AND U CAN JUST CLICK THE X BUTTON ON TOP!

kkthxbye

ps im so cute

2009-09-14T01:18:00.002+08:00

Retribution & karma comes back so fast, you won't even know when.

And when it does. It would be worse than what you've done.

Just when you think " don't bring past RS problems into this" you realize that there is Much more problems you have to face.

2009-09-08T16:12:00.003+08:00

U know how married couples can stay together everyday for many years? I WONDER HOW THE FUCK THEY DO THAT!.

Nowadays when the tensions gets a lil high with the boyfriend i feel like running home! just run home where i won't have to worry about anything else.

is it about HAVING to accept like bo bian or because after years u actually believe the love is still around??

How do couples tahan when one or another gets the TIME of the month where someone gets the damn period or stress from work brought home??

I believe if the tension is starting to build its better off to live apart for awhile? If no u'd seriously start to wonder if u still love that person. Have they become a menace? a hindrance? AND yes they may do things out of goodwill but? will u let them off before u tell them off?

Do you know there is a big difference between maybe and urmm i guess so?

Do u wanna marry him? maybe
Do u wanna marry him? urmm i guess so?

Do u think he might be the one? Maybe
Do u think he might be the one? urmmm i guess so?

OR WORSE STILL it went from a maybe to just a smile with no replies

FML!

The above questions are just examples and are not proves that i wanna marry or think hes the one. duh

2009-09-05T01:47:00.005+08:00

Friends.

As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends. But more important to have real ones.!.!

I actually starting growing up in secondary school started to have more friends. I use to have an obscene amount of female friends but it gets lesser when you realize females bitch about u. !.

I failed to see when i was younger, friends who are straightforward instead of sweet coating the words and backstab you real bad behind.

I failed to understand why friends would tell me straight in the face about things that aint right, it feels like they're hurting me.

I failed to understand how when its clearly they're saying to help you not bitch slap you, you take it otherwise.

I find myself a failure at times when it took me 21 Minus 16 years to learn who stays.

Today i can sit down and having mature and childish conversations with connie. Because we are so different yet complements in a way.!.

Today i can sit down with Gal (sabrina) with stella and having no ulterior motives or thinking on whether or not they are snatching your friends! We are not sensitive on the monetary issues. We opened our hearts to let them walk in knowing they will never hurt you!.

Heck im even friend's with my friend's sister who btw is younger and has the same bday with me! i think shes the youngest person i hang out with!

I have misunderstood these people before. hearing about how they stab me from behind or saying things about me that hurts me bad Only to hear from the horses mouth the real actual fact with no sugar coated on it.! If they don't like anything about me they tell me tactfully yet not honeyed. If we have any disagreement we never fail to say NO! and we talked nicely compromise instead of forever giving in!. We have different stands at time but we will always respect that , that is just who they are and who i am!

Im really happy that after so many years. I actually have more than 1 female friend i can actually open my heart to.!.

Seeing people close to me becoming mothers , maturing, growing up in every aspect of their lifes. Makes me really happy .

True friendship isn't about being inseperable its being seperated and knowing nothings changed

Of cos besides the fact we no longer the childish kids with horrid mentality back in high school!

2009-08-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

/editted

I am living a good life. I sleep at 8 - 9 am and i wake up 12 hours later.

Boyfriend is finally coming home tml! cannot wait.. After which we're going up to KL! cannot wait...

Its 6.11 am and im still awake.. blogging..

Headed to west plaza earlier on with ezekiel to slack for a little while, the point was to get my hoons =X anyhow our blocks are separated by A primary school which is irritating because it makes the distance further have to walk so far to meet him *grumbles*

Came home watched iron man with my daddy while SB runs around not sleeping.. Didn't want to entertain him sooo. i put him in my room on his throne to sleep! bugger won't sleep with people around.

____________________________________________________________________

In 2 days time Mj and i will be hitting our 8th month anniversary. Wow. im pretty impressed considering the fact that before him i only had an ex bf who went 2 years with me. the rest are counted in days hours and short of a month. -_-" fml

With Mj i can be myself. I am more than happy to let him make all major decisions .. well of cause he asks me first *behind closed doors*

I never had anything to worry about except for his safety and the ridiculous amount of bills piling up every month..... wtf he has his ways of clearing them all!.

This guy told me at the poorest moment in his life since working , MJ: ' hey baby im sorry that you have to suffer with me and id make it up to u " . AND my dear when he thought he was poorest, i was at the point in my life where i never had to worry about a single cent, i could still eat alot better than i use to, shop more than i use to, or fly to countries i would probably never get a chance to if it wasn't for him. This to me is a guy who is sooo hardworking that he cannot stand being second best. he would do all he can, work as hard as he could to give a way better life.

Having to work more than 12 hours a day entertaining people , facing rejections . he still makes an effort to come home to me everyday smiling and asking me about my day(thou sometimes he fail in that sense) ,worrying whether or not i've eaten, making sure i don't feel any stress, making sure i take my vitamins and even sleeping with me when he clearly has a shit load of work undone.

Yes like any normal couple we have our arguments and days where we feel like u're not doing good enough, or like picking on stuffs that we can't even remember why we started fighting for.!
Sometimes i get so used to the way hes so nice that sometimes i neglected the fact that some days he just wants to not please any body.

With this guy, i feel like myself, i can be who i want to be, i get to be small , out of the spotlight comfortably lying in his arms

Yes he's not perfect he has things where i hate or would love to change, but im trying learning to accept everything. i don't have to love it but i can just accept.

I should learn to never take things for granted. =)

Ok imma call his now!

2009-08-27T01:27:00.002+08:00

FUCK MY LIFE..

I am officially sick again! similanjiao!?!?!?!

Top it off with a cherry on top, Boyfriend is in Shenzhen again... fml

Before leaving still left me a pile of shit to settle! pay tax, pay fines, pay credit card bills. Sick still have to run out deposit money go to AXS and pay...

Uploading My hk pics onto facebook.. I KNOW im slow.. but fb is always so cranky!

okay i stoned for 5 mins......

i have no life bye

2009-08-20T17:21:00.001+08:00

;Everyone's going to SOCIAL , when are YOU??

Social house this saturday for VIP close door event.. IM seriously getting excited and is si be happy that i have cousin beside me that night!!!!!

Dressed to the best .... I HAVEN EVEN THOUGHT OF WHAT TO WEAR!!! smlj

2009-08-20T14:57:00.003+08:00

The next person who tell me that "during an argument to stop fighting give each other a hug" I will tell that fellow to go fly kite.

1. After hugging doesnt assure that the next argument won't drag in the previous days arguments

2. After hugging doesn't mean that they'll change.

3. After hugging does make their impression of you get any better

4. After hugging doesn't change the facts that what you say is out to hurt

5. After hugging doesn't change the fact that you've shouted ridiculously loud at them.

6. After hugging only solves that darn problem for awhile.

After every relationship i learn to be rational and realistic about the next relationship but it goes down the drain after awhile.

Sometimes not caring and i mean SOMETIMES not caring will not make you so angry !

Why haven't i learn from the past relationship that no matter how much you change your changes will be overlooked for something you've not change.

I use to shiver in fear about someone shout at me. Now after being shouted at so many times. im getting used to it.

Do you know why its always my fault? because i do things with no reason. i go with my heart.
Even if i regret what i say or do after ..

2009-08-14T18:02:00.008+08:00

;Idonothaveatitleformypost

I have many clothes. I have a big ass cupboard with shelves and drawers at the boyfriends, I have A big one in my house with drawers and shelves + 2 standing ones *those made of wood with many compartments*

BUT

i have nothing to wear.

I have a big carton box full of shoes Minus the shoe boxes still makes up about 30 pairs . still sitting in the storeroom while i wear only the other 8 in which 6 is in the boyfriend's car.

BUT

i feel like i don't have enough shoes.

I have a ton of clothes and shoes i know i would never wear again BUT i still refuse to throw because its SI BE CHIO or SI BE EXPENSIVE.

On the other hand. I have so little bags that i can count with 2 hands -_-"

Okay whatever said above isn't the main point. THE point is i have found no interest in shopping in singapore anymore..

Whatever singapore has is brought from overseas and they sell way cheaper there.

And while shopping in Shenzhen recently. I found soooo many clothing which are actually way better looking than in topshop / forever 21 so on and forth. And i seriously cannot give 2 fuck about the material cause I DON'T WEAR THEM FOR LONG!!! But some of them their materials are actually good.. I saw soo many tops that can be found at far east for 40 to 50 Dollars but only selling at 8 dollars in SZ..

So now onwards im getting 80% of my new clothes from SZ .

____________________________________________________________________

; Make up

I have a problem with people who have no idea how to apply make up properly.

I think stella has a bigger problem with it you should hear the things we say...

tsk tsk why are we such bitches bff??

Make up if a gift if you use it properly. And the brushes are tools to make it better..

EYE BROWS.

Should not be thinner on the inside and thicker on the outside

It shouldnt be a curve that is NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.

Neither should it be so thin and HIGH

Because if you shape it so thin .. This is what you will look like in the morning

What is a proportionate eye brow?

The length cannot be too short. The arch is suppose to start from the outer of the eye ball .

Do you know your eye brows are as important as your hairstyle? It makes and break a person. If you have your make up done perfectly but your hair is like grass you still look like shit.

If after reading and you feel so indignant and want to pick on me telling me who am i and what right i have to say all these.. i will slap you in the face with my Diploma certification In make up.(im such a bitch really)

But i have to say If you're born with shitty eye brows there are many ways out there to get a perfect one. don't spend your money just on clothes..

Pictures above are all given to me by friends who have been complaining about ugly brows . I have no idea who these above people are.

PLEASE DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FAUX LASHES..

2009-08-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

Greetings Earthlings.

I am still not asleep at such an unearth hour.
Boyfriend is happily snoring beside me now!!! pffft

Went prawning with XX and MH just now. In case you have no either they're MJ's twin brother and his gf. AND if you have no idea who MJ is... you can just click the X button on the top right corner. ... seriously

On the way to changi village Baby and i were reciting the pledge and singing it out loud.
Turn to xx and say: Pardon my boyfriend he's just so happy right now celebrating.
xx: ??
me: you see today would have been 7 years. LAUGHS OUT REALLY LOUD
xx: *gave me a priceless expression*

Digressing a little. we caught 28 prawns in 2 and a half hour. Pretty smug.

Im not a patriotic person. But heck happy birthday singapore.

Bf and i are just gonna stay home cook up a storm before catching fireworks if possible.

2009-08-07T04:43:00.000+08:00

In 1 week im gonna be having my period.
i feel hormones kicking in.

Have been on my toes for a while now, bf is in an easily aggravated mood.

When i see him so angry and stuff it makes me feel sian and feel like shit.

i feel like i cannot say anything.

idk.... idk how im suppose to act behave or feel anymore.

2009-08-03T20:37:00.001+08:00

Hey ladies. Visit www.fashionholict.com For its latest R'selcia collection!!! =)

beautiful dresses at a cheaper price!!!!

2009-07-31T17:09:00.003+08:00

Shenzhen

Sz was fun but i can't be arsed to take pictures. Bf on the other hand has shit loads of pictures (*mumbles to myself : "gay"*)

Xx and i were busy shopping conquering all the stores in dongmen. Even till the last day we can't even conquer half of it. Bargained till it was almost 1/4 the price. Smoking anywhere everywhere throwing cig butts ANYWHERE.

The food was fucking-fanta-licious.

Here is a bowl of beef noodles. i put in so much chilli they think im mad.
AND YUP i finished the whole damn bowl myself

Dim Sum at this extremely grand place.

That my dear is their CHEE CHEONG FUN.. you can feed a family in africa with that size.

And their Har gao is the size of my fucking fist..
But their Xiao Long bao is really... xiao

Danny brought us for this amazing dinner at Xiang Mi Hu the lamb rack was the size of my feet -_-"

We had dinner The day before we left at this place called.

Yes you didn't read wrongly. Its called wa wa jiao.. i laugh in my head everytime i say it out. wtf

Their serving is equivalent to one BIG ASS FRYING PAN! and we had 2 of those PANS on our table. one in which i swear that theres at least 100 prawns -_-" and the other idk 30 frogs? wtf

Right now im typing with my fuckin beautiful acrylic nails which only cost me 60 Sing dollars. full 3D with Blings. ME LOVE

As you can see im blogging just for the sake of blogging. i would rather stare into empty space than blog.

Anyhuuu Bf is getting a place in SZ and id probably be up there half of the year .. WHY CAN't HE PICK JAPAN OR LOS ANGELAS TO DO BUSINESS HUH?!?!?!? *grumbles to self*

2009-07-24T09:30:00.002+08:00

Im flying off in less than 12 hours..

and my luggage is half packed. No idea what im wearing on board.. Haven't gotten my hoons.

Bf said this before: * no standard and substandard id rather pick no standard if not its just half fucked.*

IM HALF FUCKED. ahahahha.

Ive been meeting sabrina and stella so much i think im gonna miss them. THIS IS BAD.. very bad.

So yes im gonna get them nice stuff !

2009-07-21T07:23:00.003+08:00

I have a ridiculously busy day ahead. And a whole lot of work to do before leaving singapore on the 24th! looking forward to my short getaway.!

In a few hours Id be heading out with stella and sabrina(gal not apple) to get some stocks .

Stella is starting work on the 23rd and im flying on the 24th. which means we need to get the pictures taken and stocks settled before 23rd!!

I read that there is gonna be a solar eclipse today or something. Read more on Yahoo news. Good time to pray, gonna get my girls there too..

Look out for an advertorial coming up soon!! i just need time to sort them out

2009-07-19T06:23:00.003+08:00

Harry potter with A2

I actually booked the tickets at the wrong place! we wanted DTE and i booked cineleisure instead. Heck i blame amy and amelia cause i was on a 3 way call with them.

I rate it a 2.5 over 5 popcorns. I hated it because dumbledore died. WHYYYYY! I AM NOT HAPPY

Before the show started we took neo prints and amelia has them. will scan them when Mj gets back .

Amelia drove. She is clueless about getting to cineleisure and she almost killed us on the way back. She actually turned into the oncoming traffic lane!?!?!?!? can't blame her it was 4 am and she was dead tired too i guess...

My wireless is so slow im stealing someone else's wireless and its way faster.

5 days more to SZ

2009-07-14T20:04:00.002+08:00

Virgin

HDB branch office at 8 am in the morning
Stayed up all night as Boyfriend is flying to china tonight
We got our first season parking

Bought this top from topshop.
Ok for stella it would be a top for me a dress i know i know.. short

Original price 76 or something. After using The everyday card i had a idk 10-15% off
I bought it 2 weeks ago and only wore it the day before yesterday

I love my bedsheets. I have this thing for crazily cute yet not to the disgusting extend bedsheets.

So yes its 8.15 pm Baby should be on the plane right now to Shenzhen. He's flying me up on the 24th which means 10 days from now..

I need to have plans to keep myself busy from going crazy without him around.

MEET

R'selcia koh lexuan. I think.. AHAHHA

I've never carried a baby this small before and MY GOD IS SHE HEAVY! but so amazing !

Why is everyone around me (my age group) getting married / having kids and all!?!?!

I am sooo not ready to be known as MRS or getting compliments like YOUR BABY IS SO CUTE.

Stella don't abandon me!!! You cannot run off and get married anytime soon ok. MWAHAHAHHA

KKTHXBYE gonna sleep. Doing my nails and shopping with stella tomorrow.

2009-07-10T20:59:00.003+08:00

1 week intensive training for the small dog, before mum makes noise and wants to have him sent back again!?!

Had dinner/supper with david and stella a few days back. so nice to catch up with them =)

Its been awhile since i had to put on make up and i think i am this close to forgetting how to put falsies on oh my mother of god .

Was suppose to head up with XX to hk on the 21st but changed mind and heading up shenzhen to meet the bf instead.

Few places to go. cheung chau and macau if bf has time . If not id just shop in SZ but noooo to fake goods.

Its awhile more to go but i want to have a white christmas =D *hints the bf*

Its been awhile too since we had seafood at JB . It used to be a ritual where we have it almost every week. CRAP periods coming and i am stuffing my face with food.

i am hiding the weighing scale under the grandfather clock for now before i freak out and die on the spot !!

TIME to be a couch potato BYE

2009-07-06T16:32:00.004+08:00

so yes i've officially moved out of loyang =)=(

i have my own room!! new bed new cupboard.

My bed is so comfortable that when i lie on it regardless on whether or not i am tired, id fall asleep.

Yesterday bf make me so happy .

he said: " I think what you said is TRUE" yadayada

I almost choked on maggi mee !?!?!??!?!

OMFG TEARS OF JOY

Conversation with david and stella

-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
lala gal's baby full mth is from 4.30 to 7
David - take my picture off the backdrop says:
wtf stella got baby?
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
no
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
AHAHHAHAHA
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
STELLA GOT A BABY
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
please..
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
this friend of ours called GAL
-E d e l y n- IM RIGHT =) says:
aka the smaller sabrina
S T E L L A says:
hahah.....
David - take my picture off the backdrop says:
oh ok
S T E L L A says:
y would i have a baby
S T E L L A says:
brother!
David - take my picture off the backdrop says:
how i know i thought u kena some 4d
David - take my picture off the backdrop says:
dio shotgun

LMAO!

2009-07-04T01:15:00.003+08:00

Tagged in FB but since i have been nagged to blog i decided to do this here !

Boyfriend survey

How long have you been together?

6 months 1 day =)

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

23rd dec 08 till 2nd Jan 09 you do the math

How did you know each other ?

Long story short . Knew through stamford, drove my car for 5 mins and crashed it. Pawned Bmw for me to drive.

Who asked whom out?

It was a ritual thing i met them every day since the crash and i can't remember who asked who first

How old are each of you?

He's 24 and im 21

Whose siblings do both of you see the most?

That would be his Twin brother

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Time. He works around the clock on the go. Oh yes and hes super logical and me emotional Communication goes haywire when arguing

Did you go to the same school?

No possible -_-"

Are you from the same home town?

HAHA no. Try east coast and pasir ris

Who is smarter?

Him definitely. Im pretty bimbotic.

Who is the most sensitive?

Duh ain't it obvious

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Woah, everywhere whatever we feel like eating. But cai fan makes us happier =D

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
UH Hongkong ahahah

Who has the craziest exes?

I WOULD SO LOVE TO SAY HIM!

Who has the worst temper?

I get upset easily and throws my princess temper around but when he gets angry OHHHH does he get angry. Thinking about it makes me wanna hide in my cupboard and not come out.

Who does the cooking?

Both actually. I cook cause i like to, he cooks for me because im too lazy to get out of bed !!! IM BETTER DEFINITELY giggles

Who is the neat-freak?

Uh we're both anal about different stuff, so it would be fair to say both?

Who is more stubborn?

Equally.

Who hogs the bed?

If i sleep first that would be me , but... when he comes to bed he manages to squash me to the wall.

Who wakes up earlier?

Nothing wakes him up faster than knowing he has an appt the next morning.!.! HE doesn't even wake up that fast when he has to go out with me HRMPH .

Where was your first date?

We were chatting and i casually mentioned i've never been to KL and genting in my life and he said : Come ah go home pack now tml we go. so yes KL and GENTING

Who is more jealous?

None actually.

How long did it take to get serious?

Idk man. I guess he took it seriously from the start for me it took a little more time

Who eats more?

Please do not judge my bf by his size =( cause i eat more and when i do he has to eat too . teehee

Who does the laundry?

Our MOTHERS

Who’s better with the computer?

AMAZINGLY me.. and to alot of ppl i was the IT IDIOT . Unless of cause u're talking about Microsoft , then him

Who drives when you are together?

He drives more but i drive too but i think bf gets scared when i do =( he thinks im too reckless and fast. WELL HE SHOULD KNOW. we raced on the road before

2009-06-30T22:56:00.001+08:00

The Day my cousin broke my heart

She thinks im working in SRC and ask:" EH GOT STAFF DISCOUNT RIGHT" -_-"

she had better not think i was some waitress there.

Feeling extremely crappy today and i think im irritating the shit out of mark who so unfortunately sits beside me!?!?!

Theres this korean song stuck in my head for 3 days. Only to realize its a japanese song and i still have no idea what song that is. FUCK SHIT

2009-06-29T22:26:00.003+08:00

Downside of dating a business man . . .

waiting for him to finish his appt which will be around idk 1 or 2?? His appt use to be 2 hours and now it takes almost 4 an appt. no diff from 8 -5 .

Moving house but Im never around. always stuck in between time, sleep . On my left, so fucking organised everything need a timing or a slot. On my right, as and when everyone is home or around we leave on the stop timing? no such shit.

STUCK IN BETWEEN NO ONE GIVING IN TO ME HOW U TELL ME HOW!

Handicapped

This kind of disappointment is inevitable yet no choice but to accept and understand.

Loving someone is already not an easy thing, Loving someone whose life revolve around business is even harder. You need extra of everything. Energy, Understanding, Patience, Logic etc etc.
oh ya and extra instant noodle -_-" K i am gonna cook myself a packet of noodle now. no time for hk cafe =(.

Idk if he can feel the disappointment in my voice. crap

3 months. . . . . . no strengthhhhh urg. spinachhhh ^-^

2009-06-28T02:11:00.003+08:00

omfg im sooo growing sideways. I just had 2 .. 2 PACKET OF INSTANT NOODLES!?!?!?! OMFG JUST KILL ME.

It. 2.12 am and i need to sleep. have to be up tomorrow at 9am to go shopping for lights. for my room.

And i realize i spend more money on stuffs like cupboards, necessities. Big items not branded items. i counted my new clothes and i realize the numbers drop every mth but the bill goes higher. -_-"

Definition of a soulmate= Not exactly have to be the person you spend your life with.

It can be someone who understands you and reads you like a book. A friend who looks into your eye and say Don't bluff say the truth. . .

OK i need to sleep. Before bf comes home and kp me

2009-06-23T14:25:00.001+08:00

I have nothing to blog about.

Maybe im too sensitive. but things don't seem the same anymore .

what a familiar feeling.

2009-06-16T00:56:00.004+08:00

Key

15th june. we got the keys to my new house.
Daddy's first time there.
Our first time shifting house.
I feel happy yet like shit at the same time.
I want to hug my house and not let it go. 21 years.
But as long as i have my whole family with me.

The rest won't matter.

Got home and downloaded tons of songs before sleeping. Haven slept the whole night.

The dogs were accompanying me through the night. No actually they got locked out

Sb and Nine

Nine likes to sleep near the aircon/ fan while Small boy prefers to suntan -_-"

Sb on the leg rest. His hind legs slipped a few times. Hilarious i don't know how to upload the video . My brother calls him Shadow. Hes a confused dog.

Babies

If you know me you'd know i pretty much hate babies. I find some of them hideous no offence.
When people share their baby album with me of them or their kids, gushing how cute they look. I find myself trying to hide the fact i think they look hideous. -_-" I thought i was an ugly baby too. fuck i look like a butch . But. so far only 3THREE babies make me gush.

Giselle Lavie. No she's not a malay or indian. She african french i think? She has the best mum in the world. This is one fashionable baby. Always decked in baby dior and burberry. Her mum refuses to let her wear anything hideous or those common baby clothes.

And the boyfriend

THE PAMPER'S BABY. He's super proud of this picture. he has a big copy of it sitting under the glass of his working table *grumbles grumbles* SO FAT. same as now luh!

I need to continue sleeping Buay TEH HAN

2009-06-13T05:03:00.002+08:00

I had nightmares 2 consecutive nights. =( now i don't dare to sleep at all. so i am awake at this time. catching up on my TVB series now . i am sad

2009-06-11T01:35:00.005+08:00

Home

Got home this morning around 4.30am after sending boyfriend and his brother to the airport.
They're in Shenzhen right now meeting with the officials and leaders. Before heading to Kunming for the next 3 days.

Usually by now, boyfriend would have already picked me up if he dropped me home earlier , and we'd be having supper right now.

i just msged him and ask: are you sure it hasn't been 5 days yet? This is what happens when a couple spends 24/7 with each other. Okay some get sick of each other and things turn bad or not. , well we do sometimes too but give us 4 hours and we would probably miss each other already. sick i know.

COURTS

Headed down to courts with mummy just now. Got me a new bed. Love mummy and boyfriend

SELF DECLARED OFF DAY

So yes for the next 5 days or so i will be recuperating , have some me time, probably meet up with some old friends or spend the day at home or i could stick with my parents till i irritate the hell outta them.

Boyfriends phone takes awesome but grainy pics fuck that.

____________________________________________________________________

SHOPPING

Days ago boyfriend and i went shopping. I bought nothing and he bought 2 Armani exchange tees.

Headed over to Bvlgari

He set his eyes on the the 4 - 5 hoops BZERO Ring
The picture below is a 3 hoop

Ever Since Boyfriend dated me . He went from No sense to Some sense. Fashion wise.
He knows it himself that packaging is very important in his line. If not he wouldnt be paying so much for his BMW every month.
I told him that to a certain degree that Brand matters too. Not only the design and comfort. It doesn't matter whether its the shoes or pants . Didnt get it at first Until i use the CAR TERM. Vious and BM both cars. Why BM is more ex ? Besides the after service there is also the comfort, the prestige, the confidence it gives And etc etc.

But being brand conscious doesn't make us materealistic. If we earn and have the Spare cash and i mean spare why not pamper yourself once in awhile. No one says that you need to have a collection or anything right. . .

But please do not be mistaken and take your parents money and buy them. nothing proud of it. your parents is rich yes not you. I learnt it the hard way.

2009-06-05T22:37:00.006+08:00

New cupboard.

boyfriend's room is in a mess -_-" i cannot stand mess. boxes everywhere. papers, dusts and many more .

So i niao-ed him to get a cupboard from ikea so we can store the boxes and whatsnot in it.

So yes off we went to ikea to get a cupboard.

note. i have never intended for the cupboard to be mine. after all i am very much satisfied with that little space i call mine. thou yes i niam boyfriend when he takes a tee out of it and not close

the door-_-"

the one on the left was my space the one on the below is bf's. I think he has many ugly clothes. after complaining how ugly it looks whenever he wears it . now i have the permission to change all his clothes. more white black grey standard colors. oh yes and his shoes.

imagine this . he tried on 1 burberry polo nice and he bought every single color not thinking if it suits him. OMFG. seriously i wonder how come no one stopped him . waste of money. it doesnt have to be expensive to be nice. in fact he looks nicer in this RL polo tees than his burberry.

boyfriend being the angel decides that i need a bigger space and thus exclaimed that the new wardrobe was mine =D.

Kudos to Minghao and boyfriend who spending the whole night carrying and fixing the cupboard for me.

Im pretty sure they had fun thou -_-"

THERE MY CUPBOARD. painstakenly done up by bf and minghao.

As you can see there is still an empty space.

I love the metal basket thing filled it up with tanks and lingerie. you have no idea how many lingeries i have. its almost a fetish HAHA.

we bought a black little table as well and it fits so perfectly in the middle of the room. now we can do work surf net and eat there. :O we can even ask MH and XX to play board games with us there. =D

THANK YOU <3

____________________________________________________________________

NAMES

i am trying to get myself and boyfriend used to his new chinese name for china. AHAHA. was such a coincidence that xin and i both picked a name starting with ZHI.

Boyfriend asked for an english name and i said IAN . it was the first name that came to mind. and we counted it in numerlogy its the number 6. which is bf's lucky number or summit?

:O no wonder he says i bring him luck.

Am gonna seach for a cantonese class boyfriend and i are registering for it =D

2009-06-03T04:27:00.001+08:00

Made it up with scrumptious dinner from sin hoi san woohoo. just thinking about the chilli prawn and man tou makes me drool. umm. jb's seafood was way better thou.

we're debating over black white and grey how fun.

2009-06-02T18:37:00.003+08:00

Instead of taking down that post i would rather write one more to remind myself *fuck your thoughts when you're happy*

it times like this you realize MAYBE you don't want it that much after all. MAYBE they wont be the one you spend the rest of your life with. MAYBE we should all shut up and have no opinions.

this is the worst day of my life. right now i'd rather be asleep alone then to have to do anything.

this close to calling dad to ask him to pick me up. is it enough to prove that i cannot be bothered anymore to let my parents worry about me?

2009-06-01T03:13:00.002+08:00

FOLLOW ME ON WWW.TWITTER.COM/Fuckspider

:D:D:D:D

i thought fuckyou would be too vulgar.

Boyfriend has new plans.

I am gonna work for his company. anything but pick up phone calls please.

how about just sit there and look pretty =D mwahahha.

i won't be blogging as much now that i have twitter =D

2009-05-27T14:35:00.001+08:00

WHY SO SAD!?!??!?!

I am adamant

I WANT TO DO MY NOSE. I WANT HIGH HIGH NOSE BRIDGE -_-"

okay manila and boracay trip confirmed end of july WOOHOO

Hongkong End of June.

can i get a trip to thailand at the start of june??? =(

2009-05-23T08:26:00.005+08:00

I've been together with the boyfriend for 5 months now and we're together everyday. we sleep beside each other, wake up beside each other.

My boyfriend has his flaws. Some 24 years of habit that irritates the shit out of me yet manages to put a smile on my face there after.

To working guys' time = money. To my boyfriend time = to alot of money.

Live Breathe Sleep Shit Eat money -_-"

But without fail everyday he would buy food for me when i wake up. not just any food. whatever food i want from whichever part of the island/jb. Any time of the day .

Lucky him i always eat the same few things from the same familiar places.

His only principle towards a relationship would be. I spend on my girlfriend like i would my wife. So if i were to marry her i wouldn't find it hard to maintain her.

Getting a job is for the sake of killing time and not to earn money.

Now i get anything i set my eyes on, I get to eat whatever i like wherever i like, i get to go on holidays wherever i like. Anything at all i fancy my boyfriend without blinking an eye would get it for me. provided he can afford it la -_-"

I pretty much come across as a high maintanence person. Just ask my brother and david lee.

I spend 3 years of my life wanting/ chasing brands. Fast cars, diamond rings, expensive gown, expensive dinner. holidays everywhere high fly life.

I thought that if i lived that life it'd be the happiest girl on earth.

But I realize. All these are just bonuses. At the end of the day. I want that guy who talks laugh joke with me under the blanket till we fall asleep, the one who would stay in and watch vcds with me, the one so kisses my forehead every night and my lips every morning.

My whole life i keep whining about meeting that perfect one who sweeps me off my feet, who gives me butterflies in my tummy. And im starting to think Ive found that one who is everything and more than i can imagine.

And we need to stop picking on the little flaws stop arguing learn to accept kiss and make up, every single time

without you, i'd never learn to cry when im hurt to laugh when im happy.

without you, i'd never see so much in a human that i'd never have been able to, good and bad

without you, i'd never learn so much about gold, diamonds, MLM, structures Business in general

without you, i'd never be able to fill my passport with so may stamps and walk the streets of Hk

without you, i'd probably won't be able to fall in love so hard again

without you, i'd never be Adeline edelyn all together in one.

But still..

Ive pretty much set my eyes on filling my shoe cupboard with Jimmy choos Manolo blahnik and christian louboutin *grins*hohoho

With love and farts

I love you ah bui

But 5 doctors in 1 mth is very high maintenance hor?? -_-"

2009-05-16T21:34:00.004+08:00

Had A Slight Argument with Boyfriend yesterday. And we have no fate with Wolverine

So i woke up with boyfriend telling me i cooked you porridge with egg
first thing that went thru my mind was porridge with an egg inside which i hate, which he cooked last night
so i said nah no thanks i don't like porridge with egg
boyfriend must have felt heartbroken when i said that together with no i am not hungry

But after he left i woke up brushed my teeth and took a peep at the porridge to realize this is what he mean

Felt my heart melting msged the boyfriend to say thank you with love.

gobbled it up after. yumm abalone porridge ..

I found this picture funny

My brother shaved nine bald. and left his tail like that i swear he looks like a poodle. when i laugh nine will sulk.

k im done talking

quote jennifer aniston on rumor has it.
reality isn't anything like that. the guy wouldnt give you a second chance after you cheat on him -_-" .

I didn't come here to tell you i can't live without you, i can. i came here to tell you i don't want to live without you.

2009-05-05T20:59:00.003+08:00

I have patent fucking hot pink nails
I packed baby's room and my god is it dusty. . .
I am waiting for you to bring me out for DINNER!

I need cinnamoroll

2009-05-03T16:21:00.002+08:00

i am still not well.

for the past 2-3 weeks i have seen a whopping total of 4 doctors including one at A&E . just imagine the fucking bill

Stage 1 - mild food poisoning with migraine
description- imagine... vomitting + splitting headache + sleepiness

Stage 2- evolved Food poisoning with diarrheoa
description- all of the above and diarrheoa.

Stage 3- Viral infection/ cold
description - discomfort from head to toe but can't describe precisely where, nausea, bloated, fever, giddy, constipation

Stage 4- cough/swollen throat/ running nose/ eye infection
description- cough so much i swear im this close to coughing blood then white foam/ itching throat this close to putting my hand down and scratch/ pus from eye which my bf very smartly concluded that its conjunctivitis.

To top it all off. i was in Kl and Malacca for the past 5 days and i wasnt able to enjoy the trip and i was this close to running back home only to realize i wasnt in fucking sentosa.

This is probably one of my worst times now. i can't even give a shit about my appearance.

But would love to thank the boyfriend for his endless understanding and support through my *difficult time* when i look at him sleep so soundly now (usually i would just disturb and wake him up when im up) i wonder how he tahan such a troublesome , lazy and not to mention grumpy girlfriend .

I have a list of things to do

1) Get my eye brows down
2) Get brazillian done
3) pack the room
4) finish up my dvds
5) *will fill in when i can remember*

No pictures boyfriends internet that a million years to load

2009-04-26T04:07:00.003+08:00

Back dated

Shopping!

As those who know me. Im either a havaianas or birkin girl heels too la when im out for appointments with jie.

And then i realise SHIT go out shopping with him look so weird with slippers -_-" soooo I got a slip on with big dazzles on it from "Pedder Red"

B.E.A utiful.... No pictures yes too lazy to go down open the door just to take a picture.

Boyfriend got himself a Jean Paul Gaultier Sunglasses! F.I.N.A.L.L.Y

2009-04-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

So yes i am down with food poisoning and migraine . . .

took a blood test and a jab for stopping the nausea feeling

the bruise isnt really obvious on the picture but i can see blue & black forming up omfgwtfbbq -_-"

if u see it from the side view it kinda looks like my vein got knocked up and is about 5 mths -_-"

I am still craving for food even thou i feel like shit which isnt what the doctor said it would be HA so much for " she won't feel like eating much la" -______________-"

2009-04-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

One leaves a relationship for many reasons. One reason being tired of arguments, resentments, resisting . Only after leaving a relationship only after all the bad things fade away when things start to mellow. Do we realize the things we lost didn't even lose its way. We'd always remember their favourite color, favourite food, the next sentence, the way we smile, laugh , pout, the way we whine, what food we'd order, what clothes we like, what irks us what makes us happy.

Yes along the way we will change . change our styles change our favourite color, change our favourite food. but no matter what styles we change there is still a certain cutting we will always pick, a certain type of habit in food we won't change, a certain thing in our room still of the usual favourite colors.

we may lose the love we've had but we'll never lose the way we will still care we'll never lose the memories and certain level of understanding .

2009-04-16T03:30:00.002+08:00

do you ever feel like when you compliment someone they suddenly become someone else -_-" is this why the superstition of never tell a baby they are so cute instead tell them they are damn ugly so when they grow up they'd be damn pretty/ handsome?

I Notice whenever i appreciate and say it out loud it goes missing. be it friendship family or even relationship. fuck this shit.

No more saying good stuffs i have the worst family worst boyfriend worst friends in the world and i will keep saying it so when they are super nice i will be secretly grateful in my heart (not out loud)

Hi someone stab me to death right now.

2009-04-11T20:11:00.006+08:00

Something is wrong with my calls. Sometimes i cannot see who and i have been receiving complains that i don't pick up my calls when i didn't even see a miss call!?!?!

Woke up at like 10 am! couldn't sleep ended up doing Boyfriend's income tax and some other miscellaneous stuffs.

So yesterday Boyfriend had the *mount the tv pack the room* mood.

The bed previously was against the wall facing the TV now after shifting it we have a god damn big space to walk around! heck we can probably play catching!?!

Yes i know the make up table is still damn messy! but that isnt the point you see the light on the shelf at the corner. Boyfriend mounted it for me! so much love.

After he mounted it was telling him about this article i read before in one of the magazines. about this guy who lost the girl he loved yada yada but basically all she wanted was a space in his room just for her. all he had to do was give up that one little corner but yeah he didn't as you can see! So yes All i wanted was a table with the lights i want ! felt like the happiest girl on earth that moment.

5th - 6th april we were in KL and majorly unhappy with each other already this close to killing one another

7th - 9th april Off he went to HK again for business which means its "cool down relax stay home enjoy my dad's cooking" time.

Boyfriend's early birthday present that silly boy is so easily satisfied.

Bought that when he was in Hk i had to keep that surprise for 3 days *OH KILL ME*

Boyfriend got me a little something from HK! totally unexpected.

Never really liked using a wallet most of my wallets have a shelf life of 2 weeks ? 1 month max? except the guess one david bought which i used till it tore at the bottom! =( okay back to the subject. Idk why it has never been on my want to get list?

and YES it is of the same color , design and material as the BAG!?!?! totally appreciated it. after which the next day i told him no more same style color again must try to get something totally new =D

which comes to my next topic. Im not un appreciative i just don't really know how to show it like they do in movies and tivos. No jumpy No tears No dramatic OMFG OMFG shit. I'd probably just make up for it after by doing something nice back. well idk if they other party can feel/sense it thou?

Amidst all the arguments, logics, feelings, hurtful words, sarcasm thrown here and there we humans sometimes get too blinded to see. We still seek perfection in something that was almost flawless to begin with. perhaps if we stop trying to be perfect or expect perfection we would be able to enjoy the little things more , like cooking together , sleeping beside one another, watching a show in bed together, doing work together. Sometimes just being around or waking up to the one you love is more than enough no?

So yes today i am the ~~happiest girl on earth. I am at the safest place on earth~~ god has a thing about taking the best things away from u sooo opps i didnt say that =X ahahah

2009-04-03T20:42:00.002+08:00

I'm not just sorry,
I'm sorry way down in my soul
I'm sorry from deep within my very heart of hearts
Where there are no words, no sounds, only a flood of feelings
that can never be described.
I'm sorry because i was way out of line
But most of all im sorry for the words that hurt

Now skip the drama, can we just forward to the part where we kiss and make up

i love the boyfriend

2009-03-28T00:28:00.002+08:00

I won't be blogging in public for now lj is the way to go.

Idk when i'd be back. perhaps when my mood gets better when i can smile again. maybe it would be tomorrow maybe the day after or the day day after or months or years or never.

I remember saying this a long time ago when i felt the exact same way.

even if blood splatters all over the page it wont matter anymore. this time its more like blood would make things worse.

No comments. questions would not be entertained

2009-03-27T18:01:00.004+08:00

Love..bittersweet love and endless drama.

Im no where near perfect but am feeling the unseen preassure to strive for perfection or at least a balance.

digressing

Fuck i have a sharp tongue my soul was removed to make way for my sarcasm think i inherited that from my mother somehow.

digressing again.

I know what i really want! I want to get Cervical Cancer Vaccination. =D Okayy and see the dentist.

brain dead

BYE

2009-03-27T02:11:00.002+08:00

"A friend is nothing but an unknown enemy."

How true. I live my days now , away from the spotlight. Away from girls who spreads rumours faster than i can say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

I asked boyfriend a few days ago. how come the situations and meetings become so awkward . How come i have nothing to say to them?

Boyfriend said: Because those people are only those you can talk about your past with. Discussing things that has already happened .

Now as i'm starting to grow up i realize those are my so called friends. I have nothing in common to talk about besides the past. and past im not very proud to mention. haunting me sometimes.

Those people wouldn't exactly bring me trouble but neither would they bring me inner peace and happiness. I wouldn't be able to really move on

As much as i would love not to care what others think or say. Its easier said than done.

Marx teaches us to blame society for our failures, freud teaches us to blame our parents. Astrology teaches us to blame the universe.

Who are we going to blame for creating money grubbers, gossipers, cyber bitches, fucked up ex girlfriends or girlfriends , players, stalkers, perverts.

This is a fuck-ed up world we live in. I feel so much wrath today, so much that if i walk into a room all eyes will be on me because you can sense that angry aura coming from me.

*grumbles*i feel like banging someone down with a car.

With people like that in the world. Can we blame some terrorists?

fuck shit. i woke up on the wrong side of bed

kkthxbye

2009-03-24T20:17:00.006+08:00

I am still too lazy and brain dead to blog about HongKong.

I have been sleeping too much.

The boyfriend.

As all of you already knew. He banged my car on the first day he met me. and passed me his car keys to drive for the next 10 days with the motive of seeing me everynight =X AHAHAHHA righttt..

3 Days after we got together. He brought me on a date.. So yes if you guessed it. We went to KUALA LUMPUR and GENTING for a getaway Mind you i just casually said i've never been to malaysia since primary 4

For the past 10 years my passport had less than 5 stamps Now i need both my hands and toes plus his. We've been into malaysia countless or times.

For the first Month anniversary. We had a slight argument and i have no idea where the pictures went but we went to the singapore flyer. And His first present to me.

iphone 3g White in color with idk? the highest GB?

This is the ultimate love. i have been ranting none stop about it. I told him i was a little disappointed cause that is one thing i wanted to get for myself. but nevertheless i love it to bits . now my iphone is full of applications and till now i am still amazed with it =) love my brother too for helping me everytime i scream HIAAA when i cannot figure my phone out.

The day I almost got the job at juicy and lost it because i was suppose to be at club monacco i was sooo upset and i cried, Boyfriend to cheer me up sweeped me off and brought me to sentosa.
we walked UW and all the way to the southern most tip of asia??

i was complaining as you know i hate walking. But nevertheless put the smile back on my face and another in my heart.

Valentines day. Boyfriend told me at the stroke of midnight So yeah we're going to batam for VDAY!

Bravo to him for his patience cause i was quite evil and bad tempered on vday. Lack of sleep and heat and mosquitoes = pissified

My 21st Bday In Hongkong
Being 21 = 4 star hotel upgrade with high floor and alot more advantages

Boyfriend regretted saying Hongkong the moment he said it. -_-"
no wait he regretted bringing me to ISA thou LOL!

These are just 1/4 of the sweet thing he does.
That does not include prawning and late night suppers

KKTHXBYE boyfriends home

2009-03-22T03:07:00.002+08:00

its.. 3.08 am and i am in KL impiana Hotel while the boyfriend is downstairs talking about work.. I knowww what is new...

Don't Mind Me Im just grumbling . I hate staying in hotels alone. and then who can i blame but myself Crap shit.

Digressing a little. I was in shock this afternoon. I felt my heartbeat beating faster and faster by the seconds getting breatheless by the seconds and Almost fainted . I have no idea where my blood flowed to my hands were all white and my lips pale -_-"

Had quite a few traumatic incidents to name the one is when i was a little girl brother almost drove the car into a tree because he fell asleep. i was in the front seat with my eyes wide open.

Which is a little contradict judging by the way i drive but then again.. I trust myself behind the wheels at least i know i can be in control.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

And yes i read up alot about it and mines pretty much under control unless a situation somehow occurred that is similar.

I have trusting issues.
I am not afraid of being alone just vulnerable. maybe thats why im such a motor mouth bitch at times Id rather hurt first before getting hurt.

I like sometimes being tolded den asking what to do. trying saying Why dont you instead of DO YOU WANNA.

I look at David beckham and victoria such a model couple but it makes me wonder whether beneath lies a hollow shell.
What do you do when the guy gives you the world but not the most basic things .

A hug does wonders.

2009-03-18T21:35:00.010+08:00

21st Birthday.

place. Loyang Valley Function Room

The Inside

I swear i thought i was getting engage or summit cause i was gonna wear a white long dress and boyfriend was suppose to come in white later thank god he didn't.!.!

Amelia *s* I would have cried preparing if it wasn't for them
Ame turned 21 5 days before me and Amelia is gonna turn 21 in a few months time =(

Amelia is to be blamed for my ugliness in the next 2 pictures

Amelia is darn good with planning designing crap.. shes good in everything la =( i have nothing but praises for her

A picture with my parents =( i never had one taken in a long while heck i dont think i'd be able to find a picture with mum and dad and brother all in one
Yes i know brother missing in the picture... he went home already !

For all those who don't know i have 2 dads and mums

Below is the picture of my nanny and her husband she took care of me since i was 1 month old
till i was about 12 =) she saw me during full month and 21st =( that little boy is the son of their oldest son Ah kiat korkor.

Everyone

LV-ians

Connie and friends.

Ching Hoon and sister who HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME
we're quite similar and its pretty scary. Lol

Xuexin Minghao Mingjie and me

Boyfriend and i

Secondary school and jessilyn.

the FCUK-ed

fuck shit i look pregnant here -_-"!

the 12th march babies

I have other pictures in amelia's camera Pictures of david lee bape alvin vincent and bape's gf? lol

kkthxbye next post Hongkong.

2009-03-18T16:37:00.002+08:00

I am back from Hongkong. I got bored after the 2nd night.!.!

Didn't enjoy the attractions that much except for Madam tussaud's Wax museum.

Loved the weather thou, i was able to wear things i can't wear in singapore *()#@&(!!

Boyfriend was a gem those few days.

will continue when my brain is functioning

2009-03-12T15:35:00.003+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Looked down on
Commitment
Being Alone
Losing Someone
Death
Where Your life is Going
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Okay so i got my birthday cake i actually drove down to get it.!.! time check 3.40 time left 55 minutes before i hafta go down open the function room, wait for caterers, wait for amelia come back up, bath change go down, mingle till boyfriend reaches singapore. entertain, pick up phone calls ,wait for caterers to pick up thingys at 11, say bye and thanks to people, go to the airport at 3.30! ok yeah and blow out my bday cake AHAHHAHA

I remember vaguely a year ago how tiring it was to not let go to give up that hatred for a certain person that caused a huge strain on our rs then.

Now i see my friend doing that unable to openly say happy birthday to me, unable to attend my birthday because his anal of a girlfriend doesn't like me and has to come up with funny excuses . 偷偷某某 i think i got it right? lol!

So yes now i see and now i am finally at a place where trust is everywhere . phones, emails, facebook,friendster arent screened.

A relationship is stressful enough, don't let ex girlfriends, parents, anal friends make it even worse.

To all the nice people who read HELLO
To all the stalkers i am not pointing names and not saying who please don't make your boyfriends life any more miserable.

2009-03-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

Goodbye 20s
Goodbye to all the bad things i've been through since my last birthday. I loved and lost the first serious bitter sweet relationship.
Goodbye that bad tempered unreasonable child
Goodbye to a horrible 20

Hello 21st
Hello to all the good things that may come
Hello to new friends, lost and found friends, friends closer than before.
Hello new boyfriend all the way in Hongkong on my birthday =(

2009-03-11T03:35:00.002+08:00

*grumbles grumbles*

3.40am i am not asleep. I have mosquito bites

Im craving for teochew porridge , had half a mind to drive there by myself.
decided not to cause i will look like an idiot eating alone.

*scratches mozzie bites*

waited 30 mins for boyfriend to get online only for him to tell me 30 mins later the places closes at that time and he can't come online . I could have been asleep by now. Slaps his face

kkthxbye

2009-03-10T19:12:00.002+08:00

I'm homeeeeee

So, i've sent the boyfriend to the airport for his business trip to HK how ironic -_-". This would make it the first time we've been apart for more than 24 hours. usually we're there at each others side the moment we wake up till we sleep.

I need to get used to sleeping on my bed if not i wouldn't be able to tonight!

I have a thousand and one things to do because the boyfriend *accidentally forgot* to do it.
not all la. he forgot the most important thing our air tickets to Hongkong! im gonna message him in a while to ask if he has called the guy yet.

Period's here tummy is cramping everytime it gets a chance to! and i need to run ikea, ad travel, lucky plaza and make time to melt soaps at home.

Boyfriend might have to come back on my birthday instead . Not happy not the least bit happy but i doubt there is anything i can do about it. work is more important right... hopefully he reads this later in hk so i wouldnt have to say its ok la u can stay in Hk till my bday don't have to rush back on the 11th.

secretly prays

Kkthxbye i gtg bath and meet amy downstairs den to jan's to collect my white jacket

2009-03-06T20:33:00.003+08:00

/editted

Song stuck in my head

Tip top
Drip drop
Bottles pop
Lips lock
Hips rock
Don't stop
Big Snoop Dogg is back on the block
PC Disney
Shake that thing to this beat
Taste like brandi
Shaped like landi
Sweet like candy candy candy

I intended to painted my nails swee swee then i realize i left them at boyfriend's *grumbles grumbles*

can i blame how i feel now on my period? i am feeling affected by stuffs surrounding me but i no longer wanna open my mouth and talk.... we all change as days goes by. but how much is actually for the better??

i don't like it when things change. it gets stagnant. why is it that we've predicted long ago that it would be stagnant soon but none make the effort to avoid or prevent that from happening?

what do you do... when sad love songs make more sense than happy ones?

tonight i cried myself to sleep.

2009-03-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

I am so bored i really need something to occupy my time.

i should try taking up a course.!.

My party is pretty much confirmed.

venue booked
catering ordered
left with the cake to order.

period is definitely coming i crave for everything and boyfriend is hou nice. i get to eat everything and anything i want. which is bad in a way because id grow fat. So when my period starts im gonna crashh so i'd look normal on my birthday! and pretty in pictures Ahem.

funny i have so much time but racing against time with nature...

i love this picture.

2009-03-04T18:32:00.002+08:00

Mum is anal about where it shall be i want it to be at the function room thou. 200 deposit 90 they take. Fuck shit.

I have yet to decide where my birthday cake will be from. due to the attendance of some aunties and uncle explicit cake it a no no.

I have people asking me what i want for present idk thou but i know what i DON'T WANT
- I don't want soft toys
- I don't want anything cutesy decorative or girly
- I don't want funny stuffs like perlini silver or accessories unless u have darn good taste
- I don't want alcohol

Best yet come with your best wishes or just cash AHAHAHAHHAHAH =D

Digressing. Im home i feel like swimming and i realize My swimming costume is at Bf's house! idk what for cause my house is the one with the pool. *grumbles*

My parteh will start from 6 pm ends as late as 2 am after which we need to be at the airport at 3 we're going to HONGKONG!!. courtesy of the boyfriend. He pretty much regretted the moment he suggested HK for the trip ... he has yet to see how much i can shop. heck perhaps before we reach hk i'd start shopping at duty free first. . . im pretty much gonna get fat there..

Okeh i need to bath seriously. but im too lazy

2009-03-01T16:48:00.003+08:00

Nonchalance.....

I used to think i had the answer to everything
but now i know that life doesnt always go my way
feels like im caught in the middle
thats when i realize
Im not a girl .... Not yet a women
all i need is time a moment that is mine
while im in between
Im not a girl ...

There is no need to protect me
its time that i
learn to face up to this on my own
ive seen so much more than you know now
so tell me to shut my eyes

Im not a girl. . . Not yet a women
All i need is time a moment that is mine
while im in between
Im not a girl...
but if you look at my closely
you will see it in my eyes
this girl will always find her way

Im not a girl dont tell me what to believe
not yet a women im just trying to find the women in me
all i need is time thats mine
while im in between
Im not a girl

2009-02-26T18:56:00.003+08:00

my soul was removed to make room for all of my sarcasm.

There comes a time in life
when you have to let go
of all the pointless dramas
& the people who created it
& surround yourself with
people who make you laugh
so hard that you forgot
the bad and focus solely
on the good. After all
life is too short to be
anything but happy.

Sometimes
we need to stop analyzing
the [past] stop planning the
[future] stop trying to figure
out precisely how we feel
stop deciding with our minds
what we want our heart to feel
Sometimes
we have to go with
whatever happens, happens

This basically sums up my life since idk 7pm? in that short 1 hour plus. i am beginning to think i lost a friendship a long long one.

I tried so hard and ive really done my best and given my best in this friendship. you chose to hang with people who do nothing but sow discord. this isnt the first time we've been through this and now im beginning to get a little tired trying to put your interest before mine. to accept your scoldings even if it wasnt entirely my fault.

In the end i can blame no one for how i feel today but myself.. because i trusted you and you broke it by telling someone totally irrelevant.

i should leave it all behind. friends who will never be there. friends who make you feel you're not good enough. and friends who arent there when you need them.

2009-02-22T04:43:00.002+08:00

I am so last minute.

the bed is in a mess. envelopes invitation cards ribbons everywhere.

Catering not settled. goody bag not settled. passport not collected.

Its always this time of the year. always before my birthday. i end up with conflicts and i can't never have a happy birthday . the people who would make the birthday complete . . .

digressing a little boyfriend just walked in and said or rather ask something rather stupid.

him: this guy yusholiu

me: uh yusho liu

him: so its separate. yusho liu and do ri an nee

me: -_-" DARI ANNE

him: oh.

please make the whole thing be all right

2009-02-21T08:19:00.006+08:00

I am wide awake at such an unearthly hour.

Boyfriend has been letting me sleep for hours. sometimes 24. Sometimes i just wanna kill him for doing so but his reason being:" i can't bear to wake you up." really stops me from doing so.

So yes. This girl told me once before. When something goes well or really well in one part of your life, another will suck.

True its just a matter of how long.

Dad and Mum just sold the car. Yes no more 9995 and pretty soon the house too.

This year has only started and we're all going through major changes already.

I'd be 21 in less than 1 month time. I am beginning to like this change somehow.

A new house new room and im pretty sure i'd make it really nice.

Maybe because i don't stay home anymore, Mum and i meet lesser and the chances of having conflicts dropped by more than half.

When i go home now we talk better understand more and treats each other better .

I don't know about my future and how long all the good things will last but i do know, to think forever is to live one day at a time.

10 months ago was the start of the worst days of my life. I had to fall down really hard bleed cry and stand up on my own with some help from friends. I went through a period so dark that i actually spilled a secret i've been keeping for years. i kept that secret so well and imagined how much pressure i must have been under to spill it.

I almost lost myself and my will to live then. i was living a facade i was what people want me to be to the extend of losing sight of myself completely

Today.

I fell in love once again, i find myself going the extra mile , i learn to accept things i cannot change and make the best out of it, I cry so much lesser, i go to sleep knowing tomorrow will be as good or even better, Viceroy-ed lesser. I get angry lesser, i have lesser friends now, but the lesser ones are all that i need because those are the ones who make me feel better.

I grew up and i become more of an adult he taught me so much life lessons that money can't buy, brought me into a whole new different world.

I look in the mirror 10 months ago i saw a girl who doesn't know what she wants and the future that beholds, a girl who has lost the will to live and a temper so bad , whose health was deteriorating and i worry about all kinds of disease. There were nights where i woke up because of things i've regret doing

I look in the mirror now and i see a lady one with confidence and knows exactly what she wants. no longer a fairy tale wedding but a beautiful work hard for ,marriage kids and family. I want things that i have to put in more effort to get i want to work hard for my future i want to feel useful.

I love my mummy more now.

heres the key and lock from mum with the heart from bestfriend

I will make it a point for pap smears check up every 6 mths and if possible go for the cervical cancer jabs, i'd even get myself tested for breast cancer!.!

2009-02-20T00:51:00.002+08:00

So yes dad cooked a fantabulous peranakan cuisine for me tonight.

thinking about it got my mouth watering again.

Mum got me a key to mark my freedom a swaroski key and padlock necklace. Now i wear it with stella's love from tiffany. <3

Boyfriend has been hou nice.

After dinner headed to ching hoon's house to wish her happy birthday that girl turns 21 too! love...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!

ANYWAY My Phone is a little lousy idk why but

im celebrating my 21st birthday on the 12th march thursday at my house for the last time before i move... So those who can't get off come after work or better work the morning shift? =D Would love to see all of you guys there.

RSVP before 3rd march YOU HAVE MY NUMBER! timing will be from 4 pm to as late as 2 am!

IF coming by taxi tell uncle/auntie Loyang ave Loyang valley block 200! Turn into the condo turn right 3rd 200 block!

If by Bus 89 9 6 19 59 reaches my place. the rest i not very sure....!

Anyhow im gonna take a nap before our 2.30 show later at cine

Loveeeeeeeeee

2009-02-19T01:52:00.004+08:00

Editted

Sometimes one must Kanna JIA LUT JIA LUT once to know what can be done and cannot be done.

Sometimes Somethings that i am anal about i can close one eye and forgive but i don't forget

Some stuffs once said you cannot take it back . i would love to avoid an argument but if i am prepare to start one i must win it . Do it as i do at work. don't know don't listen don't care don't give a fuck.

it will sound like YADA YADA YADA YADA to me.

Oh yeah btw happy fucking 21st CHINESE BIRTHDAY to me. It has been one muthafucking night

2009-02-17T08:00:00.007+08:00

I have been sooo busy. Went into an overdrive mode before sleeping a whooping 22 hours.

13th Feb 09

So i woke up at night again boyfriend just got back from all his appointments and i feel guilty because he had to deal with it alone outside in the sun while i slumber in the luxury of his soft bed and cold air con.

I asked sooo what are we doing for valentines day? you know i'd kill you if you make appointments that day or if you phone keeps going /timbaland sings

I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers
But together we can be the perfect soulmates
Talk to me girl

Im so sick of that song now...

okayyy sorry for digressing so boyfriend said Something like people plan vday day from 12 pm to 12 am i have to plan from 12 AM to 12 AM and was rambling on how unfair it was and ended off with i'd tell you when the clock strikes twelve.

So i got chased off to bath take my own sweet time to make up before heading out for supper and midnight movie. .

CLOCK STRIKES 12.

14th February

So boyfriend said . . . we're going to batam

me : " WTF-________-"" ARE YOU SERIOUS

bf: YEAH!

i took hours till we reach batam before digesting that fact.

The Penguin Ferry we took

As it was Our first time there we took the tour package.
the tour was horrible

But we made new couple friends.
Enjoyed a relaxing time away from the busy city life
Escaped to a place where people only earn 200 a month
Escaped from the responsibilities of work and technologies

It made me appreciate more. I was kinda sad that i had to leave loyang valley but looking at the people there. I should be glad we even have a house to live in. protect us from rain and shine . Clean water to drink and bath. New clothes to wear.

So to sum it up i had a fantastic valentines day. In the company of the one i love and the effort that he took and sacrifice he had to make , made that day even more special.

we took a whooping 578 pictures to just sum them up thats a collage to summarise that every moment.

In a few hours time we need to get up and out to renew his boat license and my passport

i have more stamps in my passport now than i ever had in my whole life. I need to renew it because i have a passport with a picture that doesnt look a single bit like me at all. A brand new passport awaiting to be chopped at the HONG KONG AIRPORT =D

we're going to hkkkkkkkk in marchhhhh for my 21st birthdayyyyyyyy!

But then again its not the destination it can be in sentosa for all i care as long as its with the ones you love.

2009-02-11T15:53:00.004+08:00

-Editted-

1 month and 9 days ONLY!?!?!

We're almost together every waking and sleeping hour and the most we've been apart was 1 and a half day? wtfbbqomfg

Is it possible. . .

So yes boyfriend just left my house for his appointmentSS. Some of which will bore me to death! with the exception of a few which i love.

I have quite a few roles to play besides being a girlfriend. Im the personal assistant, the maria, the merchandiser, sometimes a mother oh not to mention fashion advisor . i have no idea what his previous has taught him because to me he's like a NOOB! Almost learning from scratch !.!

We're into or rather im into the 2nd hate everything about him phase and im quite amazed and super glad its minimized to the lowest !

k brain just died im gonna sleep wake up for dinner and then meet him =D

yeah we're moving house. . Pro id be getting my own room Con id hate to leave loyang.
One day when i get married i'd move back here and bring my parents along too

2009-02-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

boyfriend is snoring on my bed as i type this he had to be up 5 mins ago!
ok he's up

Hello boyfriend i predict you'd read this when you get home later
Im sorry for being a bitch but we can blame that on my period =D
Thanks for the bananas and cranberry juice today
p.s i took pictures of you sleeping

2009-02-06T04:50:00.002+08:00

Remember those days when you were younger? When fears have yet to set in? where you would jump from sofa to sofa steps to steps? even when you fall and bled and cried? Then you start all over again?

As we grow older our fears set in. Before we do anything we have to think of the consequences, as we grow older we have to be more responsible to ourselves and to people who surround us which can be affect directly or indirectly. emotionally mentally physically.

No one can predict what will happen tomorrow . Even doctors can diagnose wrongly at times How can we ever be so sure and say confirm i know won't one la?

Does this mean we're hiding from reality? I use to like to do that but i find the more i hide the more i fear and i can't sleep at night. Until i do something about it to prepare myself in anyway possible . Even if its a 50/ 50 percent chance.

I had the worst 20th, i made mistakes i regretted i cried i whined i depended i hide from reality and i stood up.

Now im at a safer secured place and i am happy. I want the people who surround me to be happy too. And i wish for nothing but the best for them.

I don't handle death and stuffs like that very well. I am afraid of my time coming before it should I don't want to lose a friend to a bike accident, to drugs, to aids to suicide
I don't want to know i'd never see them ever again I will accept the friends i already have for what they are and i love and hate them for it.
But i don't ever want to make new friends i know i could lose.

Im 21 i've more to lose than what i had when im 11.

I will not treat my friend differently because something happened. Nothing is worse than discrimination. Im not strong but id shield them as long as i can and as much as i can. provided that want me to.

At times we have to put aside our ego, stubborness, pride and dignity . I cannot be a friend to anyone who doesnt want to accept that in life others can be right , you have to know you cannot be right and the best in everything .

goodnight

2009-02-03T08:57:00.002+08:00

i am sick.. again. . .

I cough the whole night so badly .apparently the drowsy medicine didn't make the germs feel like sleeping at all .

I was fiddling with my new baby the first thing this morning and the whole of last night.

soon boyfriend will complain screaming: I REGRET BUYING IT FOR YOU NOW I TALK TO U NEVER PAY ATTENTION!

aha. kkthxbye

2009-01-29T22:51:00.002+08:00

I teared when i got home today.

I tried to find a song that would fit perfectly to how i felt today

But only to realize this amount of bliss, happiness, appreciatation, thankfulness cannot be put to words.

So i compiled a playlist full of the happiest songs and i played them all day.

I woke up on the wrong side of bed today But now i feel like the happiest girl in my little world.

Every hug filled with warmth Every kiss filled with love to the brim.

When you handed me that purple thing i wasn't happy because of that, i was happy for the thought behind it . Its never the thing its always about the thought behind it.

Its like when you get mad at someone and you flare up at them its not because you're angry at what they did but what would happen to them if something did happen.

Love for me today is realizing you care about the other person's safety more than your own. And realizing you love them more than yourself.

2009-01-28T15:50:00.003+08:00

I absolutely cannot stand people who tells the whole world things they don't need to know!.!

I am going to be fucking mean. My tolerance and patience level for you has finished a while ago. You want to play hypocritical game BRING IT ON!

HELLO! i did not fucking beat the crap out of you or rape the shit out of you , killed your whole family or slept with your boyfriends . WAS I NEVER NICE TO YOU! THINK ABOUT IT I WAS NICE BECAUSE I WANTED TO MORE THAN I HAD TO

Just because you did me a favour DOES NOT ALLOW YOU to spread rumours about me! HYPOCRITICAL! FUCKING FUCK HEAD IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH ANYTHING ABOUT ME TELL ME STRAIGHT. DONT THINK HUH MUST MEH AND GO AROUND TELLING OTHERS BECAUSE.. . TELLINGS OTHERS IS FUCKING 10 TIMES WORSE THAN TELLING THAT PERSON HERSELF! WHY ? SCARED THAT I WILL WHACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WHEN YOU TELL ME STRAIGHT? NO BUT I WILL CONSIDER WHACKING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF YOU CONTINUE TELLING PEOPLE WHO HAS NO NEED AND NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON MY FUCKING LIFE. HOW MUCH DO THEY FUCKING KNOW ME AND HOW MUCH DO YOU FUCKING KNOW MY LIFE.

SO YEAH I GOT A BF WHO DRIVES A BMW BIG DEAL! WHETHER OR NOT HE IS RICH IS HIS PROBLEM IS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! SO YEAH HE IS CAPABLE ON HIS OWN WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS?

THIS ISNT THE FIRST TIME YOU TALK WITHOUT USING YOUR FUCKING BRAINS! BUAY GIA LANG DU LAN

SO IF YOU HAVE EVIDENCE TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS/ ACCUSATIONS I WILL KEEP QUIET COME JUST TELL ME STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE!

With friends like you i don't need enemies.

Don't think you're the one female friend i have with such problems so dont jump to conclusions that im talking about you unless of course u've done those fucked up things mentioned above.

edelyn